MY TESTIMONY

     As a little girl I knew that one day I wanted to travel the world. I used to lie to one of my friends on Monday morning while riding the head start bus like I had traveled overseas for the weekend and had come back just in time for school! By the time I was 14 I told my mom I wanted to be "something like a nun," although I was raised Baptist and didn't know anything about Catholicism. I did know that ultimately I wanted to be close to God and live a clean life. Howbeit, though I went to church all the time, I didn't know how to live this clean life. A year prior to this I had gone through being diagnosed with scoliosis and had surgery on my spine. My self-esteem had been affected by my home life, bullies at school, and the scoliosis. At the same time I dealt with  a very severe case of the monthly  "visitor" which left me debilitated without the use of pain medicine. By the end of my second year in college I was baptized in the name of Jesus Christ and filled with the Holy Ghost. And He has kept me ever since! I've made lots of mistakes and poor choices along the way. But now, I get to live that "clean life" that I wanted when I was younger. My adult life has been filled with many, many challenges. Once I came over to this "clean side" the battle had only just begun! I went on to graduate from Mississippi State University cum laude-barely missing magna cum laude might I add. But I give God the praise because all of this was done in spite of tremendous spiritual warfare that I encountered during this time along with investing sometimes hours in the word and prayer. It was also at this time that God called me to the ministry, while someone very dear to my heart tried to talk me out of it- WARFARE! I continued to let this person speak into my life and I almost let go. But God! Soon after I let this person go from being in this close and influential position in my life they could finally see what I had been trying to say all along. And even though I didn't totally give up on my calling, a whole lot of damage was done and it had affected how I saw God and his word. It took me years to even be able to receive revelation in the Word again. I became at odds with My God and my ministry was almost destroyed because of who I let speak into my life!

        I moved to Houston and was on an emotional roller coaster. My heart was broken, daddy issues began to surface, my job environment was tough, and now a lung collapse! Better yet, how about two more that same year with no cause in sight. During the summer I had my second collapse and surgery while between jobs, yet believing God for a new one. About five days after getting home from the hospital I got mugged in my apartment complex! Now I had to move, recover, and get a job at the same time. On the day that I went to interview for what would end up being "The Job," as I was getting dressed the plumbing in the kitchen broke and had to be fixed. Water was everywhere! But I refused to be stopped by the enemy and continued to get ready while the maintenance worker was there. Needless to say I got the job! I was enjoying it and everything when I noticed my lung still wasn't right. My third surgery was two days before Thanksgiving. Try spending your Thanksgiving at St. Luke's and topping your dressing with bitterness, brokeness, and hospital bills instead of cranberry sauce! But God is faithful! While in the hospital I remember repenting for the bitterness and resentment that I had in my heart toward that brother who I had allowed to speak erroneously into my life! Things began to turn around after that. Oh 2003 I will never forget you!
          In 2004 I became a WORSHIPPER! The prior year laid the ground work. But through everything I saw God's hand in my life. It also taught me about the negative affects of bitterness, more about how the enemy works, and how that when you release the error of people through forgiveness God can give you tremendous breakthrough and you can breathe again. During the summer of 2004 I was blessed to be a part of a great, great singles ministry that helped me to worship God in a setting that had people from all walks of life and denominational backgrounds who just had a heart and mind to lift their hands and worship God uninhibited! I didn't even know this was possible. But it was as if we all were under an open heaven! This ministry was a place of refuge for many of us. It was a ministry of Great Worship and Great Word. Then suddenly and out of nowhere it ended! No announcement and without notice- it ended. After this place of refreshing and refuge was gone I went on to deal with more examples of how the enemy sneaks in among the sheep to take advantage of your kindness/meekness to gain an advantage and leave you devastated. NOTE-some people who go to church and who may even come from a legacy of ministry may actually HATE GOD and attend church as a cover up as they victimize HIS people to get back at HIM! I saw the enemy pose as "Righteous" professionals and do evil things in the workplace. I've gone through seasons of drought and despair and feeling lost on so many levels. God is still faithful!
     From June of 2007 to June of 2009 I coughed up brownish blood almost daily. I thought it was lung related, but I kept getting good reports about my lungs so I didn't know what it could be. In June of 2009 I went to the doctor for lower back pain. The CT scan showed that I had ascites on my abdomen. The doctors eventually withdrew enough fluid from my abdomen that could almost fill up a two liter soda bottle! As the man drained the fluid he asked me if what I had been coughing up looked like that fluid. Once I saw that it was a brownish-red fluid I told him yes. Ever since then I stopped coughing up blood.
     My doctor put me in the hospital that next week for observation. I ended up becoming that "Mystery Patient" with a thick file within that hospital. Out of many doctors no one knew what could be going on. But the gynecologist had her suspicions. I scheduled an outpatient procedure with her for the day after my birthday. I found out that I had very severe endometriosis and that my chances of having children were slim to none. A hystorectomy was recommended. I cried and I cried! It was like, "God how can I be diagnosed with this when I'm waiting on YOU to send my Godly husband so WE can be a Godly example in this earth of what you can do- while many ungodly, silly women who lay up with whoever can have babies that they send to school for the teachers to raise?!" But God helped me to remember something! Early in 2007 God gave me a detailed dream about being a mother and another dream around the same time of the year in 2009 of myself with a different child. Get this- they resembled one another. I chose to believe God instead. I went to San Antonio the following week and while I was in the mall went into Gymboree and bought my child some clothes-ya heard me!!! The box shall be opened after I birth my baby out-which was one of the details shown to me in the 2007 dream.
     After I refused the hystorectomy the doctor recommended me to another doctor. With this doctor I endured months of Depot Lupron injections that made me peri-menopausal. Now I can sympathize with women who have hot flashes. This was all to prepare me for surgery with this doctor to remove the endometriosis. The surgery was scheduled for May 2010. But a month before the surgery I totaled my car in an accident, got a ticket for parking downtown in the rental car for my friend's wedding, and found out my Pastor in Houston had lost his battle to cancer all on the same day. I had been able to save money since my first car had been paid for but now had to get back in the car buying game again. So I got what I wanted- a Benz!
     When May rolled around my doctor said that upon examining me thorascopically the Depot Lupron had not dissolved the endometriosis as well as she had hoped and she also recommended a hystorectomy. This is the second recommendation and I'm just 31 at the time. I'm just so glad that before going under anesthesia I made it so clear to all the nurses that I wanted ALL of my organs! I squeezed that comment out loud and clear before the anesthesia took over. Even the gastro surgeon who was supposed to take part in the surgery didn't show up. So now this is failed surgery number two that cost a lot of my savings for out of pocket expenses. Then on top of that my insurance didn't cover me for the time I was off and require that you be off for four weeks or longer to receive the benefit. So I had to go back to work. My income wouldn't be replaced and my check would now be less due to the days off from the surgery. All of my sick leave was depleted and not to mention ANOTHER surgery would have to be scheduled for that fall with another surgeon. That's three surgeries within a year again and two years in a row where I met the out of pocket maximum for a patient with my insurance. This was the start of financial troubles for me.
              After the second surgery failed my new pastor, my deceased Bishop's son, told me to be encouraged anyway. He told me to open my sunroof, put my shades on, and blast my gospel music down the street like it's all good because it would indeed be all good after God works it out. And that's what I did. That summer was spent traveling with my sister and going to many doctor visits to get ready for the September surgery. God gave me grace down to my last $11. Everything was gone to medical bills and regular bills. The traveling done with my sister had been booked months before the procedure in May which put me in this financial mess. My parents came through and sent me a little "financial aid." Now here is God-my dad is not known for saving money at all. He's known for being hard and running around in the streets! However, he said, "Something told me to put some money away. I'm gonna send it to you." Well, thank you daddy and thank You Something! We know who Something is too. His name is Jesus, amen! Needless to say, I saw God's miraculous financial provision during this time. The surgery was so major that I had to have four doctors involved-a gynecologist, gastroenterologist, a urologist, and a pain management specialist. The first three listed had to all be present during the procedure. Now that's a big deal when three surgeons are operating on one person! That's also where the many spontaneous doctor appointments and co-pays came from that also drained my accounts. I thank God for them all! The surgery by all accounts was a success! They each say it was one of the most successful surgeries they each had ever had, if not the best! I didn't even use much pain medicine at all and was able to get the largest hospital room on that floor! I thank and praise my God for his mercy towards me. There was a lady in her mid 30's who had the same surgery as me and at the same time at that hospital. Sadly, her surgeon accidentally cut a main artery during her procedure and she almost bled to death in the operating room! My mom received great news while her mom and dad were devastated! I praise God for His mercy on the both of us. The last I heard she was recovering. I pray that she is well. When I woke up after the surgery I lifted my hands and praised God in that hospital room! I knew he had done a great thing for me!
     As I went home to recover I saw God's hand of provision again and again! During this six week recovery time I also had to have another procedure to remove kidney stones. All went well for me again. God provided for me all the way. He gave me Psalm 41: 1-3 to confirm why he had seen me through. It says, "Blessed is he that considers the poor; the Lord will deliver him in time of trouble. The Lord will  preserve him, and keep him alive; And he will be blessed on the earth; You will not deliver him unto the will of his enemies. The Lord will strengthen him on his bed of illness; You will sustain him on his sickbed." For years I had given monthly to Feed the Children and had bags with water, a snack, and Christian literature in my backseat to give to the homeless while waiting at stoplights. And he honored those seeds. The righteous is never forsaken!
     I started work again but with a struggle since the economy was weak and there were no raises since the education budget was cut. The cost of living had gone up and medical bills were coming in. Thank God for payment arrangements. The following year, 2011, was a year of financial restraint. I rarely had anything left over. I was also pushing to graduate from a prophetic school that I had enrolled in a year earlier. At the graduation God confirmed the dream/vision/desire that had been growing within me for entrepreneurship. At the graduation one of the prophets activated my call into ministry/entrepreneurship by the laying on of hands and confirming things that only God and I knew. The next day or so in prayer I received the name of the ministry. I was so glad I pressed on and stayed in this school! In spite of financial obstacles God gave me great return on that investment.
     I began to do research on how to go about getting my business started. I set my mind on Thursday July 21st to get everything set up. However, that morning I got a call. My mom wanted to be sure that I was sitting down for this one. She explained how that my Pastor's wife in Mississippi had passed away that night at only 42 years old from heart problems. She went home after bible study that night, set her alarm for early morning prayer, and went to sleep-ever to be with the Lord this time. She left behind my Pastor and 3 young children ages 11-17! Throughout ALL of my issues if I wasn't calling my Pastor, my Bishop(deceased), or my spiritual mother, it was my First Lady who was a dear sister and friend to the end! Now she was gone! She used to always say to me, "I don't know what God has for you. But judging from your warfare and experiences He must really, really have something for you!" I'm so thankful for her life and her sisterhood! What's also amazing is how that when I went home for the holidays months earlier the only seat available downstairs was right next to her. I never sat right next to her. But that day God gave me my last time with her. I tried to call her earlier that year, but we kept missing each other. I would never hear from her again so God gave me the best seat in the house! After getting off the phone with my mom I still had to decide if I wanted to get up and go on with the starting of my business or if I wanted to take time to just mourn. I decided to go forward with starting up my business, which also involves ministry. As I cried God began to give me a peace about that sister and an understanding that in the end she is better off than all of us! Now I'm left down here to GET IT RIGHT! That sister had been promoted whether we liked or understood it or not! So I had to get up and move forward, knowing that she also believed in me.
     By the end of that day I became an official business owner. Things have been slow to as I attempt to balance BCM and work. I still thank God that I'm not where I used to be! By 2012, what began as rocky began to calm down later that year just like God had told me earlier. NOTE-God will let you know Himself about secret meetings your enemies have about you and their plans to do you harm. But POWER BELONGS TO GOD! By 2013 here comes God again sending His prophets so that I could have a vision and not perish. Once this word came it unlocked me from a prison of sorts that had me held up and in an indecisive state for years. That word shattered confusion and discouragement in an instant! All I can say is that God is on the move and "Be it unto me as Thou hast said!"
     Then here we go again. A diagnosis of Bullous Disease. So that's what it is called! Now ten years after the first lung collapse it gets called Bullous Disease. Turns out that sometimes it is inoperable. Now why did I find this out minutes after being heart broken upon finding out that one of my greatest inspirations has boldly fallen from grace! I left the doctor's office with a broken heart and an officially diseased lung. Oh dear, oh dear. God is STILL FAITHFUL! I had to go on, get up and teach my kids-some of whom came from very heart breaking situations. But God!
     My job is tough, but God is good! I'm still not married yet. I believe it's on the way! I've done some crying this year over what I thought would have beeeeen taken place in my life by now, but hasn't. But thank you Jesus! This Jesus person just keeps on showing up in my life. So glad He hasn't left me! Even my lung doctor who didn't grow up in a Christian nation told me, "Out of all of my patients, you never come in like you are in despair. It's never like you are deeply saddened by your circumstances!" I give glory to Jesus Christ, for it is Christ in me, the hope of glory (Colossians 1:27).
     This is what Beautification Chamber Ministries is all about! Becoming beautiful can be an ugly, messy, painful, and over-whelming process. But as long as Jesus has oversight of your process- and not you going through ugliness for ugliness' sake- you'll be fine! As long as your BEAUTIFICATION process is under His watchful eye and you remain in His secret place, or CHAMBER, you can come out as pure gold and not only look good but be able to withstand the fire also!